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Blocksploitation Welcome to 'Cell Block W'. The W stands for writer's, and the block stands for block. Add them together and you've got a bloody horror. This abomination of natural disasters has plagued the pen-smith since the beginning of anything that mattered, and, ever since, nothing that really matters has been written, nor could it be, for this contemptuous worm of a pestilence rots the very innards of the mind's eye, so that blind deafness leaves us nary seeing a single item of great import. Were I to take but one look in the direction of worthwhile material, my very soul should clamp shut, swallowing the light of reason and digesting it into the dark frost of literature. You see what happens? I bite my thumb at thee, Writer's Block! So how can you define Writer's Block, for all those illiterate home viewers out there? Well... umm... you see, it's kinda like... uh, if you put a concrete slab on a, um... well, actually, if you were tying a pair of sweat pants to a buffalo... no, or.. uh, spinning germs on a tortoise shell... huh. Ok, I'm stumped. But it's bad. It's kind of like not being able to put your ideas into words. Oh... actually, yeah. That's what it is. Sort of. But I digress, during my writing work with the Terrible Travesty Team, I've been incarcerated in the prison of my mind on many an occasion. For example, when I wrote the never-before-heard-of, unproduced script, Noir-Fetched, I started writing, typed 7 pages, then took a coffee break... That will last for the rest of my life. That's an extreme case. Each project had its own brand of writer's block, and, often, I could avoid the block altogether by simply writing around it. In From Beyond, I had this block that wouldn't let me avoid exposition, so I have a first act that is nothing but exposition. Easy! In Fatal Killings, I had a block that wouldn't allow me to steer clear of in-jokes for writers, so I decided to create Guy Number 2. Boom! Done! It's just that easy. So the lesson here is: if you don't mind writing horrible, horrible, bloody craps of writing, then Writer's Block is like so many de-clawed kittens at your front door: easily swept away by the push-broom of ignorance. On the brighter side, the world is better off with Writer's Block. Imagine how many writers would collapse and die at their computers! Without it, they would never have a reason to get up, go to the kitchen to grab some food/drink, go to the bathroom, perhaps, or even breath in/out. If it weren't for Writer's Block, I... Eh. Maybe I'll be able to finish that line tomorrow. I'll leave you with one last thought: Writer's Block is to Procrastination as PMS is to Complaining. Hmmmm?! Mmmmm, sweet, sweet hate mail... Spincerely,
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