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The Doctor Is In... As Are the Doritos

And now a word from our sponsor...

I'd just like to comment now on certain outstanding products.  Dr. Pepper and Doritos are not only healthy for growing young lads, but they are absolutely vital to building strong bones, increasing your sex drive, and decreasing your risk of syphilis.  (If the latter two items cancel each other out, at least you've still got stronger bones.)  These are fine, quality products that will suit all your snacking needs!

Given, I've never actually had either of them, but people say they're good.

Now, the more cynical readers are cursing my name for this seemingly "blatant selling-out of any morals the Travesty Team once had", followed by a shrill scream of "Corporate sponsorship is the devil" and then "Why do I continuously beat my own crotch?", but I assure you, I'm not just telling you this for the money.  Yes, the companies that make the delicious, smooth, and oh-so-refreshing Dr. Pepper, and the crunchy, explosively fun flavors of Doritos chips are providing us with uncountable sums of money every time we mention either the name Dr. Pepper or Doritos, and a word such as scrumptious or best-product-ever, but we did not succumb to the money.  We are in this to support the greatest products I've never tasted!

We still took the money, but, I'll have you know, we've never spent a penny of it on our films.

So go out to your local shopping markets, or wherever it is that you kids buy your food these days, and purchase our movies.  And also purchase the blissful Dr. Pepper and the sensational Doritos chips.  Dr. Pepper - amazing, Doritos - superb, Dr. Pepper - luscious, Doritos - mouthwatering, Dr. Pepper - invigorating, Doritos - delectable.

Meanwhile, I'm taking a vacation on the money I just made.

Dave Casey