The Supreme DICKtator of Earth
Trek Wars, taken in its entirety, is the epitome of Failed TTT Jokes. Some parts, such as the civil war scene, stand out as funny and well researched. But in general, the failed jokes in Trek Wars could fill a book. And not some piddely insignificant thing such as the Amish phone book or "An In-Depth Look at Anagrams of the Pronoun I"; mere pamphlets in the vast sea of literature. We're talking a weighty tome that would rival "A Listing of Porn on the Internet" or the "Encyclopedia Galactica."
Because of this, we need to focus on small sections. The problem that we are immediately faced with, however, is where to begin. Since this is the six year anniversary edition of this column, I've decided to treat you all to a three-for-the-price-of-one deal. The final three jokes in Trek Wars, as a matter of fact.
The setup: The movie is about to wrap up. It's going to be a happy ending, by the look of things, because the hero, Luke Skawalker, is about to marry the Princess. They are standing in the "wedding hall" And...
Failed Joke Number One:
A running gag through out the movie is that Luke is trying to find his uncle. Well, at the end, his uncle shows up and...
Failed Joke Number Two:
So they wrap the wedding up. Rather, they almost wrap the wedding up. Word comes on at the last second and announces that Skawalker and the Princess are actually brother and sister, so they end up not getting hitched, after all. Cut to an outside shot of the ship. We hear a door opening and closing and...
Failed Joke Number Three:
Cut. The Absolute End. As you can see, you're not laughing, and neither was the audience when this final line was delivered. The only saving grace was the credits, which explode from the TV with the same music as the Star Wars credits, releasing all the built-up tension from the audience which mostly consists of "Should I laugh now?"
As a post script, I have to mention that the credit music was, in fact, so successful that we used it for Fatal Killings and From Beyond, even though those were wholly unrelated to Star Wars.